


Making Amends

by StrongerWithThePack



Category: Thunderbirds
Genre: Family, Hurt/Comfort, Pre-Series
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-08-03
Updated: 2017-03-07
Packaged: 2021-03-06 20:21:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 22,541
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26341048
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/StrongerWithThePack/pseuds/StrongerWithThePack
Summary: Lost in his grief, Jeff has been neglecting his boys since their mothers accident. When he finally realises his mistake, will it be too late to make amends? Wee Tracy Story.
Comments: 3
Kudos: 2





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is the first Young Tracy story I've written and also my first multi-chapter fic, feedback would be much appreciated :)

It was Friday night in the Tracy household and Scott looked around surveying his younger brothers as they prepared for dinner.

John was in the kitchen preparing a tomato pasta, he did most of the cooking these days. Scott feels bad that responsibility has fallen to his immediate younger brother, he would do it himself but he'd more than likely burn down the entire kitchen if he even went near the oven. Despite only being fourteen, John was naturally good at cooking, taking after their mother in that department, and he never kicked up a fuss about having to do it so Scott was happy to have the help. The rest of the family would probably agree considering the fact that had it been up to Scott they all would have perished from starvation a long time ago.

He heard a light sound of music coming from the lounge and made his way over to the door frame. Virgil was sat at their grand piano, completely lost in his music, Scott knew the 12 year old was extremely talented for such a young age. Like John and his cooking, Virgil had gotten his passion for music from their mother. He'd taken all her creative arts actually as he also excelled in his artwork, there was a running joke that Virgil had sucked up all the creative abilities to go around in the family as none of the other boys even knew how to hold a paint brush let alone read music.

Scott assumed Virgil was practising for the recital he had tomorrow morning, it was all he'd talked about all week. It was a recital for talented young musicians which his piano teacher had signed him up for, Scott knew how excited Virgil was for his family to hear him play in a proper concert. He stood enjoying the fluid sounds of Virgil's playing.

Before long he had to turn to a commotion he assumed involved his youngest two brothers. He had guessed correctly as he walked back to the dining room and watched Gordon holding Alan's sippy cup out of reach while the younger boy screamed his head off, hands outstretched. Alan had already been secured into his high chair - Scott was aware that at 3 years old Alan really didn't need the chair anymore but it kept him in place and any help Scott could get controlling his younger brothers was welcomed with open arms.

Gordon had uncharacteristically offered to set the table earlier and of course being Gordon had found new entertainment in tormenting his only younger brother.

Scott was quick to intervene "Gordon! Stop annoying Alan and finish setting the table."

Gordon looked up in an innocent way any eight year old could pull off and someone who didn't know him would probably fall for it but Scott knew better, Gordon had a knack for trouble-making. He had lost all his innocence at an early age and Scott knew the about the devious little mastermind that hid behind those big brown eyes.

He rose his eye brows "Apologise Gordon"

Gordon's saving grace was that he knew when to stop, he flashed a cheeky smile and quickly blurted to the now sniffling Alan "Sorry Al" before placing the cup on the table and hurrying back to the kitchen.

Scott made his way over to the table "You okay Allie?" he asked as he wiped the tears from the infants pouting face and handed the sippy cup over.

Alan merely nodded now contently sucking out of the cup. Alan had always been easy enough to handle, of course he was a complete nightmare some of the time, as all 3 year olds could be, but he seemed to look up to Scott and - normally - listened to him. In Alan's eyes he was an adult, and it wasn't just him, Scott knew all his brothers looked up to him.

He surveyed his surrounding once more, John was exiting the kitchen holding a large tray of pasta with oven mitts, clearly intending to place it in the middle of the dining room table. Gordon was following close behind arms piled high with plates. Alan still sat happily with his sippy cup and Scott leaned back in order to peer through the lounge door to see Virgil still lost in his music.

Everything seemed perfect.

Unfortunately, Scott knew their was something missing from this picture.

Their father.

...

The five brothers sat around the table as they wolfed down the pasta John had made. Scott couldn't help but notice the painfully obvious empty chair and apparently he wasn't the only one.

"Where's dad?"

Scott looked up from his dinner to see Virgil looking expecting at him, face plastered with a scowl.

Scott quickly tried to change the subject "He's working." then looking to his immediate younger brother "The pastas great, John, thanks"

John barely had time to nod in response before Virgil said "But how's he going to get dinner? He needs to eat."

"I've put some aside for him" John mumbled. He too hated this topic of conversation.

"Why doesn't he spend any time with us anymore?"

Apparently Virgil was determined to continue this conversation. Scott thought about their father, he didn't even know the last time they'd sat down and had a proper conversation with him. Since their mother had died last year, Jeff shut himself off from his family, completely immersing himself in his work. He'd given up his career as an astronaut and instead started a business, Tracy industries. Scott knew it was all to do with the grief of losing his wife, but he couldn't help but feel he'd been abandoned.

In his absence, all parenting roles had fallen onto Scott, not that Scott minded anymore. It had been tough at the start, John had completely shut down in his grief and hadn't helped at all. Virgil became a temperamental pre-teen intent on starting an argument as often as he could. Gordon, although young, was well aware of what had happened and started his mischievous vendetta. Alan was too young to really understand but he knew his mother wasn't coming back and that had the same effect.

It took a lot of long months for things to become semi-normal again. Once his brothers had started to trust him as the surrogate-parent in the house things became easier. His word became law.

It wasn't 100% perfect, Scott had to sacrifice a lot to make this work. His life now revolved around his brothers. Since the accident, his grades had dropped, he'd quit all extracurriculars and became distant from his friends.

He had to give up a lot for his family but Scott knew there was no going back now, he would always put his family first.

Scott sighed at his brothers outburst "You know he's working hard on the business and he's coming to your recital tomorrow so you'll see him then"

Virgil merely huffed to himself and continued eating in silence. Alan, noticing his brothers distress piped up "I like your pino Virgie!"

Alan had always struggled pronouncing Virgil's name properly and so had given him this nickname. Virgil personally hated it and constantly moaned about how that wasn't his name but this time he looked up in surprise before giving a genuine smile "My piano? Thanks Al, I can show you sometime."

Alan nodded enthusiastically bouncing slightly in his chair, Scott smiled, happy that all bad thoughts had been banished by their youngest brothers simple comment.

Alan had a tendency to say stuff like that, the kid always knew how to make other people feel better. It was one of the many reasons Scott loved him so much, most of the time he was an unfaltering bundle of joy.

The rest of the night went on without an incident, even when Jeff sauntered into the kitchen, talking loudly on the phone in his businessman voice, heated up his pasta in the microwave before heading back to his office without so much as glancing at his boys.

There had been a few moments of silence while everyone wondered if anyone was going to bring up the subject of their father but the moment had passed.

Scott thanked the heavens for that one while simultaneously cursing his father for his stupidity.

...

Scott woke with a smile on his face Saturday morning. He, like Virgil, had been waiting for this day all week, though admittedly for a slightly different reason. Although he was very much looking forward to seeing Virgil play he hoped that their dad would finally start taking a more active role in the family.

When Virgil had first asked their father to come Scott had been sure he was going to say he had somewhere more important to be and had been getting ready to deal with a very upset little brother. He had been pleasantly surprised when he had immediately agreed to going, telling Virgil how much he would love to hear him play.

This would be the first time they had all properly gone out together since the accident. Scott hoped seeing Virgil play might allow their dad to move on from his grief and remember he did still have a family instead of burying everything behind a mountain of paperwork.

Scott had a quick shower before putting the shirt he'd laid out the night before, from what he could tell it was a formal thing and they were expected to look nice. He was not looking forward to trying to get Gordon into a shirt and grimaced just at the thought.

He looked at his beside clock noting that it was just gone 7am, they didn't have to leave until 9. Having 4 younger brothers to get ready in the mornings had turned Scott into an early riser. It was worth getting up early enough to get himself sorted before even attempting to wake the others.

On that note, Scott made his way downstairs to put on a pot of coffee in an attempt to get him through the morning chaos. When he entered the kitchen he didn't expect to see his dad, already dressed, standing at the counter with his own mug reading a newspaper. It was a pleasant surprise, however, as he hoped his dad was going to help in getting everyone ready.

His dad looked up, smiling at him "Morning Scotty, What're you doing up so early?"

Scott suddenly got a bad feeling in his stomach and not wanting to jump to conclusions cautiously stated "Just hoping to get everyone up and ready for Virgil's recital this morning"

Catching look on his dads face, Scott knew his suspicions had been true. His dad had forgotten. He felt anger bubbling inside of him, how could he ever have thought their dad was changing.

His dad cleared his throat "Oh, well I'm afraid something's come up at work and I have to go into the office today. I'm going to have to miss it."

He then proceeded to look back at his paper with his eyes downcast.

Scott couldn't believe what he was hearing and raised his voice "Dad! You promised Virgil you would come. Do you have any idea how excited he's been about this?!"

Jeff looked him in the eye "There's no need to shout Scott. I wish I could come but I can't today, _okay_?"

Scott just scoffed, making no attempt to lower his voice "No it's not okay actually! When are you going to start acting like apart of this family again? When are you going to start being our father again?!"

Jeff rose from where he was leaning on the counter "That's enough Scott. Virgil won't mind if I'm not there. I'll go to the next one."

He started putting on his coat and Scott pleaded "Yes he will! How are we even suppose to get to the hall? You were suppose to be driving us."

Jeff sighed "Get the bus Scott"

"We'll be late if we do that!"

"Oh, come on Scott, you'll be fine. I'll see you tonight."

Jeff moved towards the door.

Scott shook his head in disgust "This is a big day for him! Why are you trying to ruin it?"

Jeff turned back halfway out the door "You know I'm not Scott, there's just something important happening at work."

"More important than your family?" Scott mumbled.

Jeff faltered slightly "Drop it, Scott" and left.

Scott could feel his eyes watering as he turned back around only to intake sharply when he saw Virgil staring back at him from the other doorway.

He was dressed up in a black suit with a tie not yet done up hanging round his neck and his hair combed back. He would have looked smart and professional if not for the tears streaming down his face. In one look Scott knew he'd heard the entire thing.

"Virg..."

"I'm going to practice" His voice cracked slightly at the end and Scott cursed their father's stupidity once again.

He just let Virgil go, not really sure what he could say to make things better. He couldn't believe what his father had done, this time he'd gone too far. How could he not see that his children needed him, that he was hurting them with his absence.

Scott couldn't help but feel they had lost not one of their parents on that dreaded day last year but both.

John broke his mind set walking into the kitchen, still clad in pyjamas which looked far too big for him and asked wearily "Everything alright down here?"

"Dads not coming" Scott grunted in response.

John pursed his lips for a moment before saying "I'll make pancakes"

Scott chuckled, trust John to try solving all the worlds problems with food.

He got to work and Scott steeled himself, wiping away any remains of tears present in his eyes. Who cares if their dad wasn't coming, he was determined to make this day special for Virgil and nothing was going to stop him.


	2. Chapter 2

Scott sat with his back to the lounge door listening to Virgil playing, it was the same music as he'd been playing all week but now there seemed to be sad tone to it. It could just be that he himself was just stuck in that mindset due the mornings argument but he had a feeling Virgil too was taking their fathers absence hard.

He heard Virgil make a slight mistake which wouldn't normally alarm him but the curse and bash on the keys that followed had him on his feet in seconds. It was time to intervene.

He cautiously peeked round the door to see Virgil sat at the piano, tears again flowing down his face. Scott quickly made his way over and sat down next to his little brother, draping an arm around his shoulder. From experience, Scott knew the worst thing he could do was baby the middle Tracy as he would commonly jump from upset to an argument about how he was old enough to take care of himself in seconds. Today however, he knew Virgil just needed him there for support. Today Virgil needed comforting.

"Are you alright Virgil?" Scott said softly.

Virgil's reply was so quiet Scott had to lean in to hear him sob "Dad hates me doesn't he"

Scott could have sworn his heart broke in two at that statement. How could his dad not see how much his absence was affecting his boys.

"Of course he doesn't! He's just a bit distracted at the moment, that's all"

Scott wished that was all, he wished it would only be for 'the moment' but in all honesty he was starting to wonder if their dad was ever going to go back to being the person they all used to love. He definitely wasn't about to tell Virgil that however, he didn't want any of his younger brothers feeling like they had been abandoned.

John was too old and too smart not see through all the excuses and lies he made up, trying to give excuses for their dad. Virgil, however, had usually believed him, it was only recently he'd started asking more questions and beginning to see through the child safety net Scott had tried to uphold.

Lately, Scott had gotten so caught up in the moody pre-teen Virgil that he'd forgotten how young he was. Looking down at his younger brothers sad face he tried to give his best 'everything will be alright' smile.

Virgil merely looked down at his hands and mumbled "I just wanted him to be proud of me"

Scott closed his eyes for a second, trying to get rid of an image of him punching his dad in the face before reassuring his brother.

"Of course he's proud of you. We all are. And dad might not be coming but you've got 4 amazing brothers who are going to be supporting you through the entire thing"

He wiped the tears off his brothers face and tried again with his signature big brother smile. He got a small smile in response which, in his mind, counted as a victory.

"You alright now?"

Virgil nodded sniffing the last of his tears away "Yeah, Thanks Scott"

"No problem, now lets go get some breakfast?"

He made to get up but Virgil hesitated, staring at his music again.

"John's making pancakes"

Suddenly the smile crept back onto Virgil's face and he hopped off the piano stool heading for the kitchen.

Scott chuckled and thought to himself _I guess John was right about the pancakes._

...

Getting Gordon and Alan up hadn't been a problem this morning - turns out pancakes fixed that problem too. Now though, standing in their bomb site of a room Scott was almost giving up as he watched Alan run about screaming dressed only in his boxers with Gordon chasing him, the sleeves of his shirt tied around his neck to make a cape.

"I will catch you ocean master!"

"NEVER"

Of course Gordon was pretending to be Aquaman, his all time favourite superhero and had dubbed Alan as the villain. Even when Scott informed him Aquaman did not in fact wear a cape, Gordon would not end his tirade.

Scott sighed "Kill me now"

He startled at a snort that sounded behind him "Having a little trouble here?"

Scott turned round reluctantly to see John's smug face staring back at him. Refusing to be undermined by a younger brother he countered "As if you could do any better"

The smugness just intensified, if that was even possible "Watch and learn, big brother, watch and learn"

He walked into the room "HEY!" he shouted to get the younger boys attention.

They both paused to look up at John from the floor. Gordon was on top Alan, holding a cardboard tube above his head, presumably pretending it was a trident.

"I've got a little challenge for the two of you, do you accept?"

Gordon quickly scrambled off his little brother, nodding vigorously, his curiosity keeping his attention. Alan, copying his immediate older brother, nodded too.

"Okay, if the two of you can get dressed in the next 5minutes Scott will order pizza for dinner tonight. Okay? 5 minutes starting...NOW"

The two younger boys immediately started to get ready, if not a little too fast. Scott just raised his eyebrows at John.

"We were already ordering pizza tonight"

John, keeping up his smug act stated "Ah but Scotty, they didn't know that did they?"

Scott getting a bit tired of John superiority act decided he needed to assert his dominance on his younger brother. He quickly grabbed the smaller boy around the neck and held him in a headlock "Sorry Johnny, what was that? Couldn't quite hear you from down there"

Giving in to his brothers struggles, Scott eventually let go. John, now red in the face and breathing heavily glared at his brother "You try to help a guy and that's the thanks you get?"

Scott just smirked at him as Gordon burst out of the room dressed messily with only half his shirt tucked in. "Done!"

John suddenly got a very devious look "Bet you can't get undressed quicker!"

Gordon's eyes lit up as he disappeared back into his room and John sprinted off down the hallway to avoid Scott's wrath. Scott's smile dropped as he glared daggers at his retreating brothers back.

This was going to be a long day.

...

By the time everyone was dressed and standing at the door, Scott was exhausted. It was just past 9 and they were about to leave. Scott knew they couldn't get the bus, he was not going to make Virgil late. No, he could drive them himself. He knew how, he had his learners permit.

Virgil was looking much happier than he had earlier this morning but Scott could see the nervousness present in his brothers eyes.

Scott kneeled down to his eye level and began tying his tie properly "You ready?"

Virgil bit his lip but nodded all the same, Scott knew he could be a brat sometimes but his music was what really mattered to him.

"You'll be great"

Standing up to his full height he announced "Lets get this show on the road then"

He picked up Alan, holding him on his hip before waiting for everyone to exit the house. He'd long since mastered the art of carrying Alan while doing other jobs so he quickly locked the front door with one hand and proceeded to the family car. They had a seven seater which they used when the entire family went out together. He strapped Alan into his booster seat, watching John make sure Gordon was securely belted into his own. Virgil sat to left of the two, only recently out of his own booster.

John climbed into the front passenger seat beside Scott looking a bit uneasy "You sure you can drive us?"

Scott just grumbled "Well we don't have much of a choice do we"

"We _could_ get the bus?"

Scott sighed "Nah the nearest bus stop is miles away from the hall, we'd be late"

"Okay...drive slow"

Scott chuckled at that "You know funnily enough I am quite a good driver John, don't worry"

And he wasn't lying, he was a natural when it came to driving. He'd had a few lessons with one of the neighbours and he'd done plenty of runs to the store by now. He could get them there except he suddenly realised he didn't really know _how_ to get there.

"Can you do directions for me, John?"

John reached out for his phone to get the GPS up.

Scott started the car and moved slowly out of the drive, Scott cursed quietly when the car jerked at the bottom. He didn't want to give John any more reason to be nervous.

"Scott..." John said warily.

"Just finding the bite, don't worry, I got it"

John leaned back into his chair sighing "This is going to be a long journey"

...

Half an hour later and the car was chaos.

"GORDON! Quit it!"

There was some suspicious ear flicking going on in the back and Virgil seemed to be at the end of his temper. Alan was giggling like crazy as Gordon entertained him at Virgil's expense. Another flick and Virgil's face was like thunder "STOP!"

Gordon just smirked "Make me"

"Scccooooott" Virgil drew out his name "Make him stop!"

Scott looked at them through his rear-view mirror, his own temper running short in the small car.

"Gordon! Behave we're almost-"

"Turn left!"

Scott quickly swerved the car to the left, resulting in a long sounding horn from the car behind "Dammit John! A bit of warning next time!" He said harshly.

John just mumbled an apology. Scott knew he would feel bad later for shouting but he didn't have the patience right now and John wasn't one to hold a grudge anyway.

Soon enough Virgil wasn't supplying enough entertainment for Gordon anymore as he tried ignoring the younger boy as a new strategy so in retaliation Gordon started flicking Alan as well. While Alan continued giggling at first, he soon became aware of the annoyance it was meant to cause and started wailing. Virgil coming out of his vow of silence had had enough and Scott looked through the rear-view mirror just in time to see Virgil smack Gordon on the side of the head - really hard.

Then Gordon started crying as well and Scott's patience snapped, noting the straight empty road ahead, he turned fully around in his seat glaring daggers at his younger brothers.

"ENOUGH! Stop acting like-"

"SCOTT!"

At John's cry of panic Scott whipped around just in time to a car smash into the side of theirs.

There was a few seconds of complete disorientation and pain where Scott was sure the car was flipping over. The breathe was knocked out of him for a moment and all he could see was white. The car finally stopped, luckily the right way up and Scott realised his airbag was pressing into him. He could hear screaming and cries of distress coming from somewhere but his mind was foggy and his ears were ringing. Not long after the white air bag obstructing his view gradually turned to black as he lost his battle with consciousness.


	3. Chapter 3

Scott scrunched his eyes tightly, trying to will them to open. His head was exploding and his whole body felt heavy. He could hear sirens in the distance. _What the hell is going on?_ His head was pounding as he tried to tune into the sounds around him. Then the sounds of his family filled his ears, Alan screaming in the back, Gordon sobbing along side him. He could just about hear John's heavy breathing beside him. Nothing at all from Virgil. It all came flooding back to him. _The crash._

He groaned forcing his eyes open to assess the damage, there was dust everywhere, his airbag was still obstructing his view but he could see the front window was smashed. Glass was littered all about him and he found himself not wanting to move in case he cut himself. He turned his head slightly to see if he could get a look at John. His younger brother was slumped over slightly holding his chest and gasping for air.

The reality of the situation finally kicked in and Scott was able to clear his head just as the panicking began. His family were hurt. They needed him.

He turned fully to face his immediate younger brother, trying to push the airbag out of his way and wincing as the glass underneath him shifted. He put a hand on John's shoulder causing the younger boy to jump.

He watched as John finally focused on him, eyes widening in realisation. He was still gasping for breath "Scott...can't-can't breath"

The terror in his brother voice caused Scott's heart to tighten, his own fear rising.

"Plea-Please...help" John gasped.

And Scott did nothing. John's eyes bore into him, pleading for his big brother to do something. To do anything. And Scott couldn't. He couldn't help, he didn't know what to do.

He remembered the sounds of sirens he'd woken up to, his own raw voice cracked when he replied "Just hang on John...helps coming."

John just slumped back into his seat and Scott saw the tears streaming from his brothers eyes as he tried to draw in a breath. He felt as if he'd failed his brother in that moment.

"Scott..." He was drawn out of his musings when he heard a quiet voice over what he presumed was Alan still screaming. Scott almost sobbed at the thought of his younger brothers, he didn't want to turn around fearing what he would see. Worry and concern broke through though and he slowly turned as far as he could manage. He noticed a sharp pain in his neck at the movement but that was forgotten as he looked into the back.

It had been Gordon who had called out, he had tears streaming down his face as he looked at Scott with trusting eyes.

"Are you alright, Gordon?"

"He won't wake up"

Scott's breath caught in his throat as he looked over to where Gordon was pointing and took in Virgil's state. His brother had a deep gash on his forehead, blood flowing down his face. His eyes were closed and in one look Scott could see he wouldn't be waking up anytime soon. He noticed the spider web crack in his brothers side window which was splattered with blood. Virgil's blood.

He cursed and could feel the bile rising in his throat as he tried to force it down again. All he wanted to do was be at his brothers side but his limbs felt heavy and his seatbelt kept him pinned.

He tried to calm down panicking wasn't going to help. An ambulance was coming, everything was going to be fine. He swallowed hard and assessed his two younger brothers conditions. Nothing appeared to be visibly wrong with them but Alan was still screaming his head off and Gordon seemed to have gone into some sort of state of shock.

He focused on the brother he might actually be able to help and tried to calm the youngest down.

"Alan...look at me"

He got no response.

"ALAN"

His brothers screaming subsided and he elected instead to quietly sob as he focused his attention on his older brother. He chocked out "Scotty?"

Scott gave a weak smile "Yeah squirt its me, you alright?"

Alan shook his head furiously, fresh tears welling in his eyes. Scott couldn't tell if there was something physically wrong with his brother or if it was just the shock of the situation. Alan was only three after all.

"Does something hurt?"

Alan seemed to hesitate for a moment as if trying to decide before shaking his head again. Scott let out a sigh of relief.

It was then a knock came on the window beside Scott. He started before slowly turned around, still feeling heavy and sore.

The door opened and a man in a fluorescent coat kneeled down to him "Hey kiddo, can you tell me your name? Are you hurt?"

Looking at the tall young man leaning into the car, Scott quickly realised this was the help he'd been waiting for and hurriedly tried to explain "I-I'm fine. My-my brothers, they need hel-help"

He tried to point out John and Virgil but the man lightly took a hold of his wrists placing them back by his sides.

"It's alright son, just calm down" Scott took a shuddering breath before the man rose again and shouted something presumably back to his colleagues. Scott could see the other front door open as another older man leaned in and started talking to John. He wanted to listen but the man with him insisted on talking to him.

"Can you tell me your name, kid?"

He took a shaky breath "Scott...Scott Tracy"

"Okay Scott, I'm Paul, don't worry we'll have you out of here in a jiffy"

The paramedics tone was light and casual, probably a well practiced technique to keep casualties calm but Scott was feeling anything but calm at the moment.

He tried to look round to his other brothers but Paul took hold of his chin and Scott was suddenly aware of a very bright light shining into his eyes. He tried to pull away as his headache intensified tenfold.

"Sorry I know it's not pleasant but I need to check in case you have a concussion"

Scott really couldn't care less about his own condition when he still had no information on his brothers. He tuned out the voice of his paramedic and his ears picked up words he really didn't want to hear. The older man with John said across the car to Paul "This one's bad. I'm thinking it's a collapsed lung. We need to get him to a hospital."

Not realising Scott's panic at the words, Paul replied calmly "Okay you take him in our ambulance, I'll wait here for the others."

The man nodded and retreated back to his ambulance. Scott breathing heavily himself now peered over at John, he'd gotten considerably paler and was still gasping for air. John, his younger brother, had a collapsed lung. A _collapsed_ lung! What did that even _mean_!?

"Joh-John..."

The younger paramedic, finally catching on to Scott's distress was quick to reassure "He'll be alright, son, don't worry"

Scott was not satisfied, how could he not worry!? All his younger brothers were sitting injured in this stupid car and it had been all his fault...it was his fault. He'd taken the car. He had been driving. He'd turned away from the road. He'd caused the crash. And now...now his brothers were hurt.

All because of him.

He started feeling all too claustrophobic in the car. He needed to get out. Needed to be with his brothers. He suddenly noticed the presence of the paramedic had disappeared.

He struggled with his seatbelt, fingers fumbling with the buckle as the suffocating feeling started to overwhelm him. The belt finally unlatched and he drew in a deep breath.

He worked on getting his heavy legs to move, hauling one out of the still open door. He braced an arm on the doorframe, trying to shift the rest of his body out of the car. Glass was shifting underneath him and he winced as sharp edges scraped him. When he had two feet planted firmly on the ground, he was panting. His chest felt tight and his vision was blurred.

He pushed all that to the side, his only focus getting fully out of this vehicle. Placing both arms on the doorframe he hauled himself to his feet. He kept a tight hold onto the car as his world swayed dangerously.

"Hey! Scott! Sit back down."

Scott focused on the paramedic who he could now see was leaning into the door Virgil had been sitting at. _God...Virgil!_

He had to see. He slowly edged along the side of the car, ignoring the paramedics shouts. He peered over the open door into the back.

His breath caught in his throat "Virg..."

Still unconscious, Virgil was ghostly pale, his skin looked white compared to the deep bloody gash which had resulted in half of his face being completely covered in blood as it flowed freely out of the wound.

He felt sick as his knees buckled and hit the ground. Leaning forward he retched violently. He'd caused this. Virgil was unconscious and bleeding and it was all his fault. His brother, who should be gracefully playing the piano for his family right now, was instead badly hurt and needing medical attention. His retching became more erratic and he began to feel light-headed.

Then Paul was in front of him once again, holding his shoulders.

"Listen to me Scott, you need to calm down. Everything will be fine. Just calm down"

There was blood rushing in his ears, he only partly heard the man. There were more sirens blaring and lights were flashing all around him. He felt dizzy. He couldn't focus. There were so many people around. _Since when were there this many people?_

He slumped forward, his body giving up on him. The busy scene quickly faded to nothing as he once again lost consciousness.


	4. Chapter 4

The world felt stuffy and uncomfortable. His head hurt and he could feel the nausea rising in his throat. Although he had yet to open his eyes, Scott could see bright, white light surrounding him. It was too bright, only adding to his thumping headache. He didn't know where he was and he certainly didn't know how he'd gotten there.

Curiosity getting the better of him, he began his struggle with consciousness, every second of his battle, his pain increased ten-fold but he needed to wake up. He forced himself through the barrier, squinting his eyes open to the harsh light. _Why is it so goddamn bright?_

He shifted and something pulled painfully against his arm. There was strange noises around him and he knew for sure he wasn't in his bedroom. Things were beeping and buzzing annoyingly and he could feel something pressed against his face uncomfortably.

Opening his eyes further, while blinking furiously, his surroundings began to come into focus. For a moment he just blinked at the white ceiling above him.

He started to shift his head, letting out a small grunt at the effort. Looking around the room he immediately identified that he was in a hospital. He remembered the same setting from when he'd sprained an ankle playing soccer a couple of years back. The white walls and medical machinery were a big give away.

He noticed he had an IV inserted into his arm and identified the weight on his face as an oxygen mask. It worried him slightly how long it had taken him to notice that. Bringing up the arm that didn't have the IV line he fumbled with the mask until he had brought it down, hanging loosely around his neck.

He started to panic a little. _Why am I here alone? Why am I even in the hospital?_

Before he could get too worked up, a man in a white coat walked into the room, staring down at a clipboard he held in his hand. Scott grunted quietly to get the mans attention, he didn't quite trust his voice yet.

Finally looking down at him, the mans eyes softened. He put the clipboard down and sat in the chair next to the bed.

"Ah Scott, good to see you awake" his tone was caring and Scott felt himself relax slightly now that he was no longer alone "I'm Dr. Alpine, I'll be assessing your condition"

Scott still not trusting his voice gave a slight nod of his head to convey his understanding.

"Are you feeling alright? In any pain?"

Realising he would now have to speak Scott attempted to clear his dry throat "...He-head"

The doctor nodded in understanding "That's to be expected I'm afraid, you sustained a minor concussion in the accident and mixed with the shock you passed out"

Scott's breathing quickened "Ac-Accident?"

The doctor frowned slightly "You don't remember?"

Scott shook his head, getting very frustrated with his lack of memory. He had been in an accident?

"I'm afraid you were in a car accident Scott, but don't worry, there shouldn't be any lasting damage"

This statement hit Scott like a ton of bricks. He remembered now. The car accident, his brothers. God, what about his brothers! Where were they?

His chest tightened and breathing became difficult, he couldn't seem to get enough air into his lungs. He vaguely registered the doctor getting to his feet.

"Scott? Scott you need to calm down. Everything's alright now."

Scott took a deep breathe. Freaking out wasn't going to help anyone. He gave him a pleading look "M-my brothers?" he managed to croak out.

The doctor grimaced slightly before putting on his best caring front "They're doing fine Scott. You need to focus on yourself at the moment."

 _No._ Scott thought. He very well did not.

He knew the doctor was lying to him. He'd heard the paramedic talking about John, the words kept echoing in his mind _collapsed lung_. Scott didn't know much about medicine but he knew enough to know a collapsed lung was not good.

Then Virgil. The image of his little brother unresponsive and covered in blood was seared into his brain and he wouldn't be forgetting it anytime soon.

He didn't even know what was going on with his younger two brothers. They had seemed alright at the time but Scott knew there was dozens of things that could be wrong with them internally. And what about mentally? Who were they even with at the moment? Their three older brothers had been incapacitated and they'd been forced to watch, still stuck in that blasted car until some stranger could get them out. He should have been able to help them. Instead they were probably with some strangers in an unfamiliar environment, scared half to death.

Maybe they were with their dad? Surely he was here. He had to be. Scott, for the first time in months, found himself wishing his father was here to look after him. To take care of everything. He couldn't face doing anything right now. He needed his dad.

Scott looked up at the doctor who still wore a concerned expression "My d-dad?" he croaked out.

Dr. Alpine seemed thrown by that question, he had not expected it and shifted uncomfortably in his seat which he had once again occupied.

"I'm afraid we've not been able to reach your father" he answered cautiously. Of course his dad wasn't here. Probably too busy in some board meeting at Tracy Industries to even check his phone. Scott suddenly felt terrifyingly alone. He was hurt, in pain, in the hospital with no one he knew in sight. He had four younger brothers he was suppose to be taking care of and he didn't even know where they were let alone if they were okay. He needed to be with them.

Seeing the devastated look in Scott's eyes the doctor quickly continued "But we did find your Grandmothers number in your emergency contacts list. She is on her way here as we speak."

Scott relaxed slightly. His Grandma could fix this.

After their mothers accident, their Grandma had done her best to try and step in to support the family. Jeff had been very thankful for the help at first. He needed time to grieve without having the pressure of 5 boys to look after. Eventually though, when he started to get back on his feet - or more accurately, to hide away his emotions, he started pushing their Grandma away. He had insisted they could manage on their own and didn't need the extra help. Personally, Scott thought it was because he didn't want a reminder that it should have been his wife carrying out the tasks their Grandma had taken over.

She had initially fought back, trying to make him see sense but Jeff eventually became too much for her. She left and has a house a few hours from Kansas. She said the boys could call any time they liked but their dad didn't like it when they did that. So eventually they just drifted apart. She still called every now and then but it was only Jeff who spoke to her and it was usually a brief conversation. After she left, Jeff failed to pick up the slack and the responsibility had fallen to Scott. He himself had thought about calling her more than once but his fathers words resonated inside him. _We can manage on our own._ In all honesty, he enjoyed the responsibility. It had helped him take his mind off the accident. After a while, it became second nature and he found himself not wanting to give up the role so he didn't try to talk to their Grandma. He always told himself he could handle it. But now he needed help, he couldn't deal with this on his own.

Hearing she was coming filled Scott with hope, she could handle this. He wouldn't have to. However, she wasn't here at the moment and Scott still had that underlying need to care for his brothers.

"Can I see my brothers?" His voice was still croaky but definitely getting stronger.

The doctor looked uneasy "I think you should rest Scott, you've had a long day."

Scott pleaded "Please...I need to see them"

Clearly understanding that Scott was too agitated to get any real rest Dr. Alpine sighed "I can bring the younger ones in here?"

Scott breathed "Thank-you"

While the Dr. Alpine spoke to a nurse about getting his brothers Scott thought to himself. Assuming the doctor had been talking about Gordon and Alan, he hoped if they were able to see him they must be fine. What worried him though was the lack of news about his other brothers. If they were alright they would have been with Gordy and Allie. He didn't want to think about what could be happening to them right now.

The doctor was back by his side and he pleaded once more "What about my other brothers? Are they alright?"

Dr. Alpine inhaled slowly "Don't worry about them for the time being Scott"

Scott grunted in frustration and shouted "Of course I'm bloody worried!"

At the doctors shocked expression he realised the extent of his outburst and lowered his voice almost to a whisper "Please...just be honest with me. Are they going to be alright?"

Realising the young boy needed to know the doctor nodded his head in acceptance "I'm afraid it's a bit touch and go at the moment Scott. The older one...John is it?" At Scott's nod he continued "Well John cracked a couple of ribs in the collision and one of them punctured his lung. It's my understanding he is currently on a ventilator and is relatively stable but his doctor is keeping a close eye on him." Scott had visibly paled at the doctors words. His chest had once again tightened.

Dr. Alpine eyed him cautiously "Do you want me to continue?" Needing to know the full story, Scott forced himself to calm down and signalled for the doctor to go on "As for...Virgil?" Scott nodded once again. "Well I'm afraid he has suffered a very severe head injury. He had a compound skull fracture and his CT scan shows slight swelling of the brain. He has yet to have woken up since the accident and his doctors believe that due to the head injury he is currently in a coma. I'm afraid there's no telling when or if he will wake up and even if he does he may not be the same as he was before. I'm sorry."

Scott took a shaky breath. Why was this happening to them? John still wasn't in the clear and would there be long-term effects? He certainly didn't know. Then Virgil...Scott couldn't even comprehend the thought that his brother might never wake up. That just wasn't an option. Their family couldn't go through that kind of grief again. They wouldn't survive it this time round.

Everything came crashing back down on top of him. His composure gone out the window, Scott started to panic once again. This was his fault. He was going to be the one that tore apart their family. He had hurt if not killed his younger brothers. He had done it and the whole family were going to pay the consequences.

He could hear his rapid, heavy breathing and the doctor trying to speak to him, but he couldn't concentrate on anything anymore. His mind was fuzzy as he lost himself in his thoughts. He was sure he was on the verge of passing out again when he heard a voice he so desperately needed right now.

"Scott!" The shocked cry came from the door and although Scott was sure of who's voice it was he needed to be positive. Focusing all his attention on the door he was greatly relieved to see his Grandma there. She was holding Alan on her hip and had Gordon's hand in her other one, her face held an expression of increasing worry. Scott realised he must have looked pretty hysterical and he was sure there was tears streaming down his face.

"Grandma..." he chocked out.

She quickly made her way over to the bed placing Alan and Gordon on top beside Scott. Before he could even comprehend what was happening he was enclosed in a four person hug. He could feel his younger brothers clinging onto him as his Grandma whispered words of comfort in his ear.

"Everything's alright Scott, I'm here now..."


	5. Chapter 5

Jeff Tracy was in a business meeting. A very boring one at that. The man standing before him had started a new delivery service and wanted to make a deal with Tracy Industries, to be their sole delivery service.

Jeff already knew he wasn't going to take it. When he'd agreed to this meeting he had not been informed that the man in question was a baffling fool who clearly intended to use Tracy Industries to jump start his failing business. He was only amusing the man now as he listened to all the supposed benefits this deal would bring.

Honestly, he'd spent the entire time wishing he was at his sons recital. He hadn't meant to be so harsh on Scott this morning. The truth was, he _had_ forgotten it was today and what's even worse was if he'd just admitted that he could have called in, re-scheduled this meeting and gone. He was just too damn stubborn to confess he'd forgotten. He already felt like he'd let his boys down so much he didn't want to admit to doing it yet again. It was only now he was realising he might be causing more damage than good missing it today.

Just as he was about to bring this awful meeting to an end, his secretary Julie burst through the doors.

"Mr. Tracy! There's been an accident! ...it's your boys"

Jeff was immediately on his feet, the delivery man forgotten as he stormed out of the room. What had happened? Were his boys alright? Julie started giving him details as they walked, he wasn't taking in much and just about registered the hospital name through his panic. His boys. His boys were hurt. In the hospital.

His chest was painfully tight, this feeling was all too familiar. It felt just the same as when he'd gotten the news about his darling Lucille.

He began running at this thought leaving his secretary in his dust as he ran to his car. Turning on his phone as he went he was alarmed to see all the missed calls and messages.

Strapping in, he turned on the engine and just about floored the accelerator in his haste.

 _What have I done?_ Echoed in his mind over and over.

...

Once Scott had regained his composure, he pulled his little brothers back to lie on the bed on either side of him, his upper body was propped up against the headboard. Alan fell asleep almost instantly - it'd been a bit of a long day. His Grandma sat down on the chair next to the bed, watching closely as Scott clung to his brothers - refusing to let go.

Grandma cleared her throat "Scott dear, are you alright?"

Scott kept his gaze down, staring intently at the bedspread. "Yeah _I'm_ fine" he replied rather harshly.

"Scott look at me." Grandma scolded lightly. Scott looked up with dread filled eyes. "I need you to tell me what happened."

Scott sighed as his eyes started watering again. He really didn't want to re-live this. He resorted to trying to be as vague as possible.

"It was my fault" His voice trembled slightly and he felt Gordon snuggle closer to him.

Grandma put an encouraging hand on his leg, looking him directly in the eye.

"You're going to have to tell me more than that Scott"

Scott really didn't want to tell his Grandma how badly he screwed up, how badly he let his family down. He was sure she would hate him afterwards. He didn't think he could deal with his family turning away from him. But then, did he even deserve them? He had nearly killed most of his family due to his stupidity. Why would they want him around? Best just to get it over with instead of delaying the inevitable.

"Well it started this morning..." Once he started he couldn't stop. He told his Grandma about everything - the recital, their dad forgetting, taking the car and very very briefly - the crash.

His voice was very thick by the end of it and he could feel the tears leaking out. "...so basically I screwed up exceptionally badly...and I'm so so sorry." He was choking out the words now "I didn't think this would happen I swear...I'm sorry" he got quieter and quieter towards the end sobbing "I'm sorry - I'm sorry"

His Grandma, who had sat patiently while listening to the account stood and lifted Scott's chin so he was once again forced to look her in the eye.

"Now Scott, don't bury yourself into the ground here. We both know you shouldn't have taken the car, but we also both know that it was never your intention for this to happen. Everybody makes mistakes but you have to move past them to make things right. We don't know what's going to happen from here but we do have to face it as a family. A _whole_ family. I also think we need to have a long conversation with your father, it seems he is not entirely innocent in this incident either."

His Grandma sighed. She honestly hadn't realised things had been this bad for her Grandson's. Scott seemed to be oblivious to the fact that he was still just a kid - he didn't need to shoulder the blame for everything. She really needed to talk to Jeff, he clearly hadn't been doing nearly as much as he should have for his children. God, she loved her son but he could be incredibly stupid and oblivious at times. "I have to take some blame too Scott, you've clearly been struggling with a lot on your own for a while now and I should have been there, for that I am sorry." She gently wiped the tears from his face.

Scott didn't know what to say. His Grandma made everything sound like it was going to be okay. But she couldn't know. What if something happens to John or Virgil and they weren't fine. They couldn't move past that. His thoughts were interrupted when he felt a tug on his sleeve.

He looked down to Gordon's teary face "It's not you fault Scott" Gordon looked up to their Grandma, his lip quivering "It's my fault Grandma...I was being bad. That's why Scott crashed"

He burst into tears and Scott instincts kicked in immediately as he slung an arm around his brother shoulder, pulling him close and rubbing his arm.

"Shhhh Gordon, it okay. It wasn't your fault"

Grandma sighed "You boys are all as bad as each other. No one's solely responsible for this boys. There's no point in blaming yourselves - its been a long day and there's no reason to make it worse. We need to support each other now" Grandma leaned in to Gordon's teary face "Okay?"

She got a shaky nod in response and turned her attention to Scott, making eye contact "Okay?"

"Yeah"

"Okay now why don't you two follow Alan's lead and get some rest." As Scott made to protest she quickly added "If anything happens I'll wake you up straight away, okay?"

Scott still not entirely satisfied but noticing he was struggling to even keep his eyes open nodded.

"Good. I'm going to go talk to the doctor now. I'll be just down the hall if you need me"

She turned the light out as she left and before as she was leaving she heard a quiet 'Thank-you' from the bed.

...

Jeff ran through the doors of the hospital, heading straight for the reception desk. There was a woman standing on the phone behind it. She was an older woman and the grey hair was beginning to show through the tight bun she had her hair in.

"Excuse me"

She briefly looked up from the computer with a slight glare and gestured towards the fact that she was on the phone as if Jeff hadn't realised.

Jeff groaned in frustration, he was so close to his boys yet he couldn't get to them. He would willingly start searching door to door all around the hospital if he thought it would get him to them sooner but he figured his best bet was to wait for this infuriating woman as she painstakingly slowly typed information she must have been getting off the phone call into her computer. God forbid the people who came to this desk with a genuine medical emergency.

She finally put down the phone and turned her attention to him, peering over the glasses which sat on the end of her nose.

"How can I help you Sir?"

"My name is Jeff Tracy, my sons were in an accident"

Her stare turned to one of great disapproval in seconds and Jeff felt himself shrinking behind her glare.

"Mr. Tracy - the hospital has been trying to get a hold of you for quite some time now"

Jeff visibly paled and he suddenly felt a great need to explain himself to this women "I know...I'm sorry, I was in a meeting" Even to him it sounded pretty awful but he was turning desperate "Please, I just need to see my children"

The women, sensing his distress, softened her features slightly. Jeff could see that underneath that death-glare she had perfected she was clearly a caring woman - probably just to people who actually deserved it.

"If you head to the third floor - room 312 - you should find your mother, she can fill you in."

Jeff logged the information and said 'thank-you' as he was already walking off. He jogged to the lift - pressed the button a lot more times than necessary - as if that would will it to come faster, and headed up to his boys.

As the lift doors opened he came face to face with his mother who's surprised look turned quickly into a glare far worse than that of the receptionists.

"Jefferson, we need to talk young man"

"Mother, please just tell me - how are the boys?"

She sighed, taking a hold of his arm and guided him down the hall until they came to a couple of chairs pushed against the wall.

"Sit down, Jeff"

Jeff sat reluctantly, he was suddenly wondering if he wanted to hear this at all. His mother was clearly furious with him, yet no yelling had ensued. Something was clearly wrong and his heart was clenching at the thought.

"How bad is it?"

His mother sat opposite him "I'm afraid it's not good Jefferson"

Jeff's breathing faltered slightly. She continued "The good news: Gordon and Alan are fine - a little shaken up that's all." Jeff exhaled slightly at this and signalled for her to go on. "Scott is relatively okay, he sustained a mild concussion in the crash and was in severe shock. He's doing alright now though."

Jeff nodded at this, relieved beyond belief. He a bad feeling that his mother was taking him through it best to worst though and steeled himself to shakily ask "John and Virgil?"

His mother sighed and Jeff felt the dread set in. "In the crash, John's airbag didn't inflate and he cracked two of his ribs off the dashboard. Unfortunately one of these ribs punctured his lung. The doctor's put him on a ventilator as he was having trouble breathing but he assures me it's just a precaution and that John most likely will not need surgery and should be breathing on his own in less than 24 hours"

Jeff was having to take deep breaths to control himself. His son, his second oldest, had a punctured lung. A friggin' _punctured lung._ And he hadn't been there. He had been too busy working while his son was struggling to breathe. His hands were shaking. He didn't think he could handle anymore but he had to get this over with. He feared he wouldn't like what was to come next. Forcing his voice to be steady he asked "And Virgil?"

His mother took his hand in hers and he looked into her eyes with showed great dread. Jeff's heart stopped for a moment fearing the worst. "He not..."

His mother squeezed his hand tight "No Jeff, he not. But he's not good either"

Jeff let out a shaky breath, keeping eye contact with his mother and refusing to let go of her hand. He felt like a little boy again. He needed her comfort. "Tell me"

Her eyes drooped "He suffered a very severe head injury - a compound skull fracture the doctor said. His CT scan showed slight swelling of his brain. He hasn't woken up since the accident and his doctor believes that due to the head injury he is currently in a coma. They don't know when or if he will wake up and- and" Even his mother was having a hard time with her emotions now "and if he does wake up the doctor said he might not be the same as he was before." She pulled him into a tight embrace. He didn't even have the capabilities to hug back as his body froze with the news. It was too much.

His mother continued holding him tightly, giving him as much comfort and strength as she could as he broke down in her arms.

"I'm so sorry Jefferson"


	6. Chapter 6

After getting all his pent up feelings out - Jeff desperately needed to see his boys. He was now following his mother down the hallway, apparently to where his boys were. John and Virgil had been moved to the same room as neither of them were in critical condition and it's more of a waiting game from here on out. Jeff assumed the doctors thought it would be easier for them as a family to be closer together. It certainly relieved him that his boys would never be left on their own.

This whole experience really was a wake up call for him. He hadn't been spending nearly enough time with his boys lately. Not since Lucille actually. That broke his heart a little. She would be so disappointed in him. So disappointed he'd let it get this far. He had promised her he'd always look after their sons and now he'd let her down.

Honestly, he hadn't even realised how detached he'd become. Looking back now he saw how blind he had been - how he saw his boys only a fraction of how much he did before the accident. Now he might not even get the chance to fix that.

Too absorbed in his thoughts, he almost walked into his mothers back as she suddenly stopped. They must have reached their destination and Jeff had to take some deep breaths as he stared at the closed door in front of them. He didn't move to open it though. This is what he'd been waiting for. He needed to see his children. So why couldn't he open the door?

His hand rested on the handle yet he couldn't will it to move. Another hand rested on top of his startling him back to reality.

"Come on Jeff dear"

His mother gently pushed down his hand opening the door and nudging him through at the same time.

His eyes focused onto the two beds in the dimly lit room. He could already feel the tears building up in his eyes but he refused to let them fall he had to stay strong for his boys.

His eyes landed on the bed closest to the door. Walking closer he immediately identified John - not that the figure on the bed looked anything like his usually vibrant son.

He was lying on his back, eyes closed with white hospital sheets pulled up to his chest. Everything looked very neat but to Jeff it only reminded him of a corpse and that was an image he never wanted to associate with his son. From the small part of his face Jeff could see, his skin was white as a sheet. However, the most alarming feature was the tube at his mouth - just the thought that it travelled all the way down his throat made Jeff gag slightly. It was attached to a large machine next to him and it was hard to think this piece of metal was breathing for his son. Keeping his boy alive. How had it come this?

Johns arms, which were visible on top of the bed sheets, were laced with small cuts - the bigger of which had been dressed in white bandages. His finger had a clip connected to a machine showing his pulse, the steady beeping was like music to his ears.

Jeff choked back a sob as he brushed his second eldest sons hair back. John didn't react to the touch at all. "You're going to be okay, Johnny"

He knew that statement was more for him than his unresponsive son but Jeff found just the physical contact was helping him see his boy was alive and well. The warmth of his forehead - not alarmingly high just enough to assure him his son was okay. He kissed the top of his head before moving towards his other son. Out of the corner of his eye he could see his mother taking his place by Johns bed.

Everything seemed so quiet. So deathly quiet.

Seeing his third born son up close was terrifying. Virgil lay, much the same as John, on his back, white bed sheets tucked up to his chest. He didn't need any machines like John, just the clip on his finger - the beeping clashed with Johns and soothed Jeff's nerves more than he could say.

Despite the absence of machines, Virgil did not look any better than John. His head was wrapped with a stark white bandage pulled tight around his forehead. There was already crimson red blood seeping through the right side of the bandage. He was so pale - highlighted by the darkness of the blood.

Realisation hit him like a brick wall.

Virgil shouldn't be here like this. He should be at his recital, with his family supporting him. His _whole_ family.

Virgil was so like his mother, taking after her with his musical talents and his artistic side. Jeff still remembered the days when Lucille would sit down with a 5-year-old Virgil at the piano, trying to teach the young boy 'chopsticks'. It had been amusing in the beginning, Virgil was, as you would expect of a 5-year-old, not very good but he was so enthusiastic. None of the other boys had shown an interest in music besides listening to their mother play.

Virgil would be dragging Lucy to the piano every chance he got and she was so happy. God, Lucy was so good with the boys - she always knew what to do. Virgil showing such an interest in the piano always put the best smile on her face. I thought it was a phase, that he would lose interest soon enough but she always saw the potential in him and soon enough he did get better.

The first time he played through chopsticks perfectly, Jeff could have sworn Virgil was happy for an entire week after that. Lucy was so proud.

She would have been so proud of him today as well. She would have made an entire day out of this recital. She'd have been helping him practice all week. She would have calmed his nerves the morning before. She would have done everything he didn't. They all would have gone. They'd have gone out for dinner afterwards to celebrate. It was the family Jeff wished they still were. The family they still should be.

She would be so disappointed. Jeff could almost feel her gaze on him now. Not harsh - just sad. He had let her down. Not just today. Since the accident. He had been letting down his family for months.

He was scared to touch Virgil head. He just looked too fragile. Needing contact he elected to take hold of his hand. Grasping it tightly he whispered "I'm so sorry Virgil, when we get through this I promise I'll do better."

It was all he could do at the moment.

And then silence was too much for him. The hospital. Everything. It was all reminding him of Lucy's accident. The hours he'd spent waiting here before she finally passed.

There was nothing they could do they had said.

You need to say goodbye they had said.

It hadn't quite registered with Jeff at the time and he was sure he'd made quite a scene arguing with the hospital staff. Demanding that they do something.

But of course, they couldn't.

She didn't have a chance.

Determination filled him. His boys _did_ have a chance. He was going to support them as best he could until they got through this. They were _all_ getting through this. Whatever it took. One thing was for sure, he wasn't going back to work. Not until his boys were up and healthy again. The company would have to manage without him for a while.

Giving Virgil's hand a last squeeze, Jeff stood. "I need to see the others"

His mother looked sympathetically at him, he imagined quite a few of his emotions were present on his face "Of course, they're just in the next room on the right."

Jeff nodded and headed for the door. He knew his mother would stay and keep an eye on John and Virgil. He honestly didn't know how he'd managed without her for so long - well he guessed, he hadn't.

He followed the instructions to another closed door. Recalling the awful sight from the last room he took a deep breathe. Thankfully, it wasn't needed and he found himself smiling as he walked in. In contrast to the gloomy, silent room he'd just exited - this one seemed brighter as his ears immediately picked up the sounds of his youngest.

"Alan! I had it first!"

"Noooooo...I'm the doctor!

"No you're not, you're too little"

"Am not!"

Alan and Gordon seemed to be fighting over what looked like Scott's medical file. Scott himself lay in the bed with a pillow pressed against his face, the noise was obviously too much for him. Jeff chuckled lightly to himself.

What he didn't expect was for the vibrant environment to suddenly become bleak as his children noticed his presence. Alan and Gordon froze, file falling to the floor between them as they stared up at him like deer caught in a headlight. Scott shot up, removing the pillow from his face simultaneously. Jeff could see his expression change quickly from pain - probably the concussion after sitting up too quickly - confusion and then shut down completely.

Jeff hated that this was the reaction he provoked from his children just by entering the room. How had he not noticed before? That his children no longer felt comfortable around him. It broke his heart - the looks on all his sons faces like he was some monster. He supposed he should have expected it - he had been a monster lately.

He waited to see if anyone was going to say anything, but when they didn't he moved fully into the room and decided to start simple "Are you boys alright?"

Scott shifted on the bed and almost whispered "Since when do you care?"

Jeff sighed. He had hoped not to start off like this but apparently Scott was determined not to make it easy for him.

He moved closer to Scott's bed "Scott...I've _always_ cared."

Scott just snorted "You've got a funny way of showing it"

"I know I've not been around much lately but I'm here now and I'm not going anywhere"

Scott finally looked up at him and Jeff could see tears shining through the hatred in his eyes "Much? You've not been here at all!"

Jeff faltered slightly, Scott's voice was filled with anguish and he didn't look much better. His head was tightly bandaged and his skin was practically grey, the dark circles under eyes revealed how worn out he was.

"I know Scott and I'm sorry...That's all going to change now" he tried to reach out a had to Scott but he deflected the attempt.

"You don't just get to pick and choose when you decide to become a member of this family!"

"Scott..."

"No! We don't need you coming in here acting like our dad again. I don't want everyone getting their hopes up just to be disappointed by you again! What's going to happen when you bugger off to another meeting at work instead of looking after your kids?"

Scott was hitting the issue right on the nose and Jeff could feel his temper rising "That's enough Scott"

"No it's not because it's true and you know it. You're just going to end up abandoning us again and I'm going to be left to pick up the pieces!"

"Let's not forget why we're here Scott" Jeff growled. It had come out before Jeff even realised he'd been thinking about it. Did he blame Scott? He hadn't before. But he had told them to get the bus. Why was Scott driving in the first place?

Scott looked sullen and deflated slightly, he all but choked out "I-It was an accident"

Jeff liked the fact that he seemed to be back in control and kept with the direction of the conversation.

"Why _were_ you driving Scott?" Jeff's voice was rising without him even being aware of it "You don't _have_ a licence" He was just shouting now "Of all the stupid! Immature! things you could have done Scott. _What were you thinking?!_ "

Scott face was streaked with tears as they now fell freely "I-I didn't think this would happen"

Jeff was livid. Pictures of John and Virgil flashing through his "That's right Scott - You didn't _think_ did you? You just endangered all you little brothers life's without _thinking._ It's _your_ fault-"

The door burst open. "What on earth is going on in here!?"

Grandma Tracy caught one glance of Scott's tear streaked face and turned a darkened look towards her son. "Outside. Now."

Jeff had the common sense not to argue with that tone and sullenly left the room.

Grandma Tracy turned back to the room and spoke softly "Don't you worry Scott, why don't you get some rest." She then turned to the younger occupants of the room who had watched the confrontation quietly from the corner of the room. Alan had slight tear tracks running down his face and was clinging onto Gordon for dear life.

Grandma Tracy said in a not-so-quiet whisper "Why don't you two go and give Scotty a hug, I think he needs one."

Scott heard the suggestion loud and clear but the little ones felt like they'd been given a secret job and scrambled to get up onto the bed with Scott. He embraced the warmth of the hug with a slight sob, glad to have to comfort.

Satisfied Grandma Tracy left the room to deal with her son.


	7. Chapter 7

Jeff couldn't believe what he'd just done. Scott _never_ cried. He'd just brought his eldest son to tears. What kind of father does that? Scott had been right as well.

Since when did Scott become more mature than his father. Jeff sighed. It had probably happened a long time ago. He'd had to grow up too fast. Jeff could see that now. Out of all his sons Scott had changed most drastically since Lucille's accident. He had made the sacrifices to ensure the other boys were happy and well cared for.

He wanted to be a part of his boys lives again - now more than ever - but that couldn't happen if he couldn't even breach the subject with his family. He should have known he couldn't just pretend like things were all right again. The damage had been done. He needed to deal with this head on, put his stupid pride aside and apologise to his boys properly. He gulped as his mother turned her furious gaze towards him once more. This was going to be tough to explain.

"And just what exactly was that Jefferson Tracy?" She hissed as she gently closed the door behind her. "I could hear you all the way from the next room!"

His mother was furious. He could tell that much. She didn't have her 'you need a lecture' voice - it was all icy and heated. He'd really done it this time. Scott was injured, tired and already incredibly emotional from the shock of the accident and worry for his brothers whom Jeff knew he cared about more than anything in the entire world. And what had he done? He'd gone in - seen his son on a hospital bed at his most vulnerable and brought him to tears. He _knew_ this. It had just all happened so fast at the time. He wasn't _thinking._ God if he didn't get his act together - nothing was going to change.

What he really didn't want was his mother screaming at him too. He deserved it - he knew she would be right in doing so but he understood what he'd done wrong without her pointing it out to him. He already felt like the lowest being on earth.

He just turned, heading back down the hall towards his other boys. He could hear his mothers protests behind him but everything was just dulled - he couldn't take any more. When he reached John and Virgil's room, before opening the door, he turned slightly towards his mother. She immediately stopped her tyrant, seeing the look of resignation on his face. She still held a disapproving frown, letting him know things were far from over with this conversation but she didn't try to follow him, instead she turned on her heels and heading back into Scott's room.

Jeff took a deep breath and stepped into his other sons room. He slid into the chair by the door, his entire body slumped down not even having the energy left to sit up properly. This was too overwhelming. Why did everything have to happen at once? Two of his sons were fighting for their lives and the rest of his family couldn't stand to look at him.

He just needed to sit and think things through for a while and Jeff had to admit it was a lot easier sitting with his two unconscious sons that couldn't scream at him.

...

Scott had calmed down a little after his Grandma had left the room. A major factor was the two kids trying to squeeze the life out of him on either side. He always managed to put on a brave front around them, never wanting to show if he was unhappy or angry at their father. This time however, he didn't want to put on a front, he just wanted to cling to his brothers and allow them to help him for once. They may not understand everything that had just happened but they knew Scott was upset and that was enough for them to comfort him.

It wasn't long before their Grandma was back in the room. Her face was like thunder when she first entered but softened at the sight of the younger two curled up beside Scott. They were all staring at her. Alan and Gordon had big eyes full of trust as they waited for their Grandma to say something - to explain why their father had just acted like he was possessed by a vengeful spirit but Scott could see she didn't have anything to assure them with. She couldn't swoop in and fix everything this time.

"You're father didn't mean what he said Scott - you know that right?" Scott just looked down at the bed sheets, arms pulling his brothers closer into him. Seeing he wasn't going to respond their Grandma went on "He wants to make things up to you boys but its not easy for him"

"It's not easy for us either" Scott mumbled, eyes still not looking up. He knows what their Grandma is talking about, Jeff has lost his role in this family and he doesn't know how to get it back. Scott wants him to, he wants everything to go back to the way it used to be. Their mom wasn't coming back but they desperately needed their father, the father Jeff Tracy used to be that is. As much as he wanted it though, he couldn't just forgive Jeff that easy - he didn't want to pretend like nothing had happened. He didn't want to give up the roles he'd taken over in looking after his brothers. He couldn't.

He knew this needed to be sorted out though. "I want to speak to him"

His Grandma was startled at the sudden request and even more so when Scott started getting out of bed, shifting Alan over to the same side as Gordon so he could manoeuvre himself to the edge.

"Scott!" His Grandma came forward "I don't think this is a good idea"

Scott shook his head "No." He got up steadying himself on the bed, blinking away the faint dark spots from his eyes "I need to do this now" He paused slightly as he realised he was in a hospital gown. Of course he'd noticed earlier but he felt more self conscious standing up in it than when he was mostly concealed by the hospital sheets. He was happy to discover however that it did in fact cover his behind unlike some he'd seen on the TV. He still felt rather stupid walking about in it but he couldn't see his clothes anywhere in the vicinity and he'd already hyped himself up for this conversation. He knew if he didn't get it over with he'd spend hours in bed thinking about it before chickening out.

His Grandma was still hovering worriedly, concern for him evident in her eyes but he gave her a pleading look, hopefully conveying that he really needed to do this. She sighed. "Oh alright. He's gone in with John and Virgil."

Scott breath hitched slightly. Upon his determined insistence they'd taken him through in a wheelchair earlier to see his brothers - even of he had argued that the chair wasn't necessary. He didn't even want to think about what he'd seen in there but it was going to give him nightmares for the rest of his life. Seeing his brothers so vulnerable and broken was too overwhelming, he'd had to leave after a few minutes. The thought of seeing them again made him shudder but he wanted to be there for them, wanted to help them through all this and he definitely wanted to be there when they woke up.

He nodded in thanks towards his Grandma and steeled himself as he walked through the door. He tried to tell himself that he didn't need to be worried, this was his dad after all - he didn't need to be scared of his dad. He prepared himself. If his dad started shouting he would not back down. They were going to talk whether he wanted to or not.

Before he could even think about it he had pushed open the door to the room and immediately set eyes on his father. He didn't see what he had expected. He thought his father would be stiff, still fuelled by their previous argument and worry for his children but all he saw was a man slumped into a chair with a defeated look on his face. He was staring straight ahead, seemingly at his sons beds but his eyes weren't focused and seemed a million miles away. He hadn't even looked up when Scott opened the door.

"Dad?" He questioned quietly.

Jeff flinched at the sound before focusing on his sons face and straightening up in his chair. "Scott? Should you be out of bed?" His voice was laced with worry and Scott had a very hard time picturing the furious man that he had been talking to only a little while earlier.

"Yeah I'm alright" Scott shuffled his feet slightly "Can we talk?" He looked up "Properly this time."

Jeff looked in pride at his son. "I think that would be best"

Jeff sighed inwardly. Here was Scott - his teenage son - coming to him to ask to talk maturely instead of sulking and hiding away like he was doing. Looking at Scott now he was hard pressed not to see Scott as the little boy he had been years ago. The hospital gown he was wearing completely hid his built frame and made him look so vulnerable. He knew he couldn't get caught up in that though. If this conversation was going to happen he needed to treat Scott like an adult. Scott _had_ become an adult in the past months, it saddened Jeff that he'd missed out on so much of his childhood, that he'd had to grow up too fast.

Jeff stood and motioned for Scott to follow him out into the corridor, he didn't want to have this conversation in that morbid room. Scott sat with relief on the bench just outside, Jeff had noticed he looked a bit pale but if Scott wanted to have this conversation now he wasn't going to push him away.

They sat in silence for a few seconds just settling into the situation before Scott spoke out "So - you said you wanted things to change?"

Jeff was grateful for the opening, Scott was giving him a chance this time and he was going to explain himself properly. He couldn't justify what he'd done but he owed Scott some sort of explanation.

He started from the beginning. "After your mother died...I couldn't even look at you boys for a while. Everything you did reminded me of her, you all had little pieces of her and it hurt too much to be around that." Jeff took a breath, he'd never told anyone this stuff before and he worried about saying it out loud in case Scott took it the wrong way.

He glanced up at his son but Scott's face was neutral, patiently waiting for him to continue. Jeff nodded "I shut myself off from everyone. At the time I'd told myself it'd only be for a little while until things stopped hurting." Jeff chuckled sadly "I should have known it wouldn't stop. It's never going to stop hurting. What I also didn't realise was that instead of pushing you boys away, I should have pulled you closer, we should have faced things together. By the time I realised this it was already too late."

Jeff's expression saddened deeply "I let my pride get in the way of fixing things. I didn't want to admit that I'd done something wrong, even though deep down I knew it had all been my fault." Jeff sighed, rubbed his eyes and looked directly at Scott "After a while I convinced myself you didn't need me anymore and I buried myself in work instead."

Scott's eyes softened "We always needed you and we still do - just in a different way."

Jeff let out a breath "I want to make things better Scott...I really do. I just don't know how."

Scott knew it was his turn to tell his side of the story now. He and his dad needed to fully understand each other before this could continue.

Scott sighed "I'm not entirely innocent in this either. After the accident...I just didn't want to think about it. I had to have something to distract me and looking after the others was like a full time job. I liked the responsibility and I let you drift - I didn't want to ask for help. After a while, it all just became second nature."

Scott leaned back in his chair staring up at the ceiling as he relived the memories "Getting everyone up in the mornings, taking the little ones to school, getting the chores done, helping with homework...and just keeping everyone happy." Scott smiled "I just wanted everyone else to have a normal childhood, I didn't want them to grow up too fast." Jeff was thinking to himself _like you did_ but he didn't interrupt. "I tried to avoid talking about you with them, hoping they wouldn't notice."

Jeff felt a pang to the heart as he realised how much he'd left to Scott to deal with. Not just looking after their physical well-being but their mental as well. "Of course John could see straight through any of my lies - kids too smart for his own good."

Jeff smiled slightly at the fact Scott referred to John as a 'kid' when he was only two years his senior "John's helped so much - I couldn't have handled everything without him."

Again Jeff cursed himself for not being there. _He_ should have been handling things not his sons. "The little ones haven't been too hard to fool, give them a game to play and they are engrossed for hours, just in their own little bubble. Gordon asks why you don't watch him swim anymore and Alan wonders why you don't tuck him in at night but they don't really understand enough"

Jeff felt tears well up in his eyes at that one. It stung, knowing his boys wanted him and he'd let them down. Scott seemed oblivious to Jeff's anguish as he stared at the ceiling and continued "Virgil's felt it the worst. He noticed your absence all the time and he has been adamant on reminding everybody every chance he can get. It wasn't so bad at the start when everyone was still getting over their grief but lately he's just been asking so many questions. John and I always sort of understood and accepted why you weren't always there but Virgil's just a little too young."

Scott got worried suddenly "It's not that I blame him or anything, he _is_ still young and he should be allowed to act his age but sometimes he just got too much for me to handle. Or he would upset the younger ones." Scott covered his face with his hands, voice breaking "God everything's just been getting worse and worse as time goes on."

Jeff reached over and put his arm around Scott's shoulder. Scott stiffened upon the contact and Jeff was about to pull away until Scott leaned into him. Jeff tightened his grip and tried to get a hold of his emotions. He hadn't realised how much he had been missing the past few months, he couldn't even comprehend how blind he'd been. How could he not have noticed everything that had been going on? He been so focused on his own struggles he'd left his children to struggle on their own and Scott to try and deal with all his little brothers.

Scott himself felt relieved that everything was finally out in the open, he felt like a weight had been lifted from his shoulders. He leaned in to Jeff comforting hold, it had been so long since his father had made any contact with him at all and he didn't want to be the one to pull away from that.

His father leaned down and whispered gently "I'm so sorry Scotty" he felt his father rubbing his back gently "I'll make it up to you"

Scott pulled away regretfully and looked his dad in the eyes "You don't need to make it up to me - just be there okay? For the guys. For me."

Scott looked so hopeful, Jeff had to choke out his response "I will - I promise."

Scott sniffed and tried to get a hold of himself, he still had stuff he wanted to talk about. He put on his serious face again "You can't force it though, okay?" Scott saw his fathers face fall but continued "The guys aren't use to having you around anymore" he quickly adjusted "That doesn't mean they don't want you though - like Virgil..." Scott glanced back to the room currently occupying his injured brothers and steeled his resolve "Virgil wanted you at his recital so badly - they all still want you around - but I don't think they want a father figure from you just yet. If you start taking control again they might push you away." Jeff nodded in understanding. Scott was right, he'd been absent for so long. He'd pushed his sons away and they'd turned to Scott instead. He knew it was going to be a very long time if ever that his sons started coming to him instead of Scott when they needed help.

He met Scott's eye to convey the truthfulness in his next statement "I understand" he put a hand on Scott's shoulder "Don't worry"

Scott exhaled a breath of relief and allowed himself to relax. That was it. It was all out. He felt so hopeful that things would change now. He wanted and desperately needed their father back and he could only hope he stuck to his promise.

"So it's true - the great Jefferson Tracy _is_ in the hospital"

Both Scott and Jeff started at the new voice as a man appeared from around the corner to the right. Jeff narrowed his eyes at the man - he had a strong New Yorker accent despite the fact they were still in Kansas. He had a big build and the belly to go with it, his already greasy hair was slicked back with gel and he just had a generally dirty look about him. This mans mere presence made Jeff want to pull his son in closer to him.

Jeff stood to face the man, positioning himself in front of Scott. "Can I help you, sir?"

"Mr. Campbell" The man held out his hand to Jeff which he reluctantly took.

Jeff was not about to be pulled in by fake pleasantries, he could sense something wasn't quite right about this man "I would introduce myself but it appears you already know my name so I'll repeat, can I help you with something?"

The man smiled tightly and Jeff didn't like the look in his eye "Ah yes - see I couldn't help but overhear some of that heart to heart you two just had and let me tell you - I was extremely touched" Jeff growled under his breath at the mans tone, he was starting to put the pieces together in this conversation and he didn't like where it was headed. Quicker than Jeff could even comprehend the man had pulled a small notepad and pen out of his jacket pocket. "So what exactly has brought you to the hospital today?" The man turned to Scott "What about you young man - have anything to add?"

Jeff growled as he once again blocked off the view to his son. He should have known. _Reporter._ He couldn't get away from them recently - being a rather successful ex-astronaut and with his business finally gaining some notice, they were swarming for a story.

"Who're you with?" Jeff growled.

The man smiled "New York Times - and let me tell you Mr. Tracy, you have been quite the mystery recently and people want to know. I mean you lost your wife-" Jeff and Scott both visibly stiffened at that statement "-You started a very successful business from scratch and you've been raising five boys all on your own. People want to read this story on the perfect man that is Jeff Tracy." Mr. Campbell paused smugness only increasing as he finished "But from what I just heard the whole Brady Brunch family act isn't entirely true is it? Now that would be a story" He held up his hands gesturing in the air while proposing a title "The great Jeff Tracy - neglectful father"

Scott himself growled thing time, standing up from the bench he moved forward with his fists balled. Jeff put out a gentle hand to stop him and pulled him up beside him so that he was just standing in front of the younger boy.

Jeff took a deep breath "Mr. Campbell, I suggest you leave us alone before I call security and have you escorted off the premises." Scott could clearly hear the businessman in Jeff's voice as he spoke coolly without raising his voice. It had the same affect though as it sent slight shivers down Scott's spine.

To Scott's surprise, Mr. Campbell seemed to ignore Jeff completely "Word in reception is that your boys were involved in a car crash. Were you driving Jeff? Are any of them hurt? I can see Scott here was injured." He gestured vaguely to Scott's hospital gown and Scott felt very vulnerable in it again. Jeff was just worried that this man knew his sons name. "I believe I overheard some doctors earlier - John and Virgil? What happened to them Jeff? Are they in here?" Mr. Campbell pointed and started walking towards the door to the injured boys room. Scott snapped, not wanting this man anywhere near his younger brothers. "Get away from there!"

Scott all but ran in front of the door - blocking the entire thing with his body. The reporter halted "Hit a nerve have I? Are they not going to make it? Are they already gone?"

Scott had tears streaming down his face by now. He didn't know how much he'd cried in the last 24 hours but he didn't know how he even had any tears left by now. Everything was just getting to him today and he was thanking the lord he didn't have to deal with everything himself. He wouldn't have been able to do it - this reporter was pushing all the right buttons and he was sure if Jeff wasn't there the man would have all the details he needed.

Luckily Jeff stepped in at this point - literally shielding Scott from the man once again. His voice was low and dangerous "Stay away from my sons"

Mr. Campbell could clearly see this conversation was over and he sighed putting away his notepad "I will have my story"

"Not if I have you arrested - My lawyers will be in contact"

The reporter simply scoffed but retreated anyway. Jeff immediately turned to his son who was leaning heavily on the door as the toll of the emotional outburst took affect on his already weakened body.

"You okay?"

Scott just nodded and started furiously wiping tears from his eyes "Sorry"

Jeff pulled his son in for a hug, clearly surprising Scott as he stiffened before relaxing "You have nothing to be sorry for Scott, men like that have no place in a hospital" Jeff continued to hug his son. Scott had hit a growth spurt lately and was quickly catching up with his father but Jeff was still able to just rest his chin and his sons head and rub his sons back. Jeff hadn't seen Scott this vulnerable since the day of the accident and it pained him how much Scott must have been holding in. As much as it saddened him to see Scott so emotional, he was glad it was coming out now.

He needed this.


	8. Chapter 8

To avoid another run in with the reporter, Jeff and Scott had moved to the safety of the hospital room John and Virgil were currently in. They sat mostly in silence, just watching the younger boys - assuring themselves their chests were rising and falling.

They'd been here for a few hours now, neither feeling like doing much else. Grandma Tracy had taken Gordon and Alan home for the night, stating that the hospital was no place for two young boys and that they needed proper beds to rest. Technically Scott had been cleared to leave the hospital and she'd tried to convince him to go with them but there was no way he was leaving his little brothers.

Grandma Tracy had accepted that no matter how hard she fought this was a battle she wasn't going to win and had departed with her young charges.

Before she left, she had managed to track down the bag that contained the clothes Scott had been wearing during the accident. He was thankful to get out of that hospital gown but the clothes were pretty wrecked. His t-shirt had been ripped by glass in multiple places but thankfully there was no blood - Scott's pretty sure he would have thrown up if there had been. His Grandma had promised to return in the morning with a change of clothes for each of them.

It had just passed 1am and Scott could feel himself drifting off in the seat he had placed in between his brothers beds. He hadn't been able to sleep yet, too many thoughts running through his head. _Too much guilt._ His dad was against the wall on the other side of John's bed, he'd fallen asleep too not long before, head resting against the wall. He hardly looked comfy and Scott was sure he was going to be sore when he woke up but at least he was sleeping.

Scott really didn't want to sleep but his body was fighting against him and he could barely keep his eyes open. Just as he decided to stop fighting, leaning back and closing his eyes, he head a quiet noise. It startled him in the completely silent room and sat up straight to try and identify it.

His eyes immediately fell on John who's terrified eyes were boring into him as he let out a small whimper. Scott immediately got to his feet pressing the call button at the side of the bed before focusing all his attention on his brother.

Johns eyes were watering as a lone tear rolled down his cheek. Scott quickly wiped it away placing his hand in John's.

He whispered quietly "Hey John, its alright - you're alright."

John just shook his head and scrunched his eyes shut and more tears fell freely down his face. His brother squeezed his hand tight and started wiggling restlessly under the hospital sheets. Scott started to get alarmed as John's heart monitor, that's steady beeping had previously supplied so much comfort, began to speed up.

Scott brought his voice out of a whisper but still tried to keep a calming tone. "John, you're alright - please look at me - John?"

Johns eyes snapped open again, still red and puffy. The hand that wasn't currently clawed to Scott's reached up to his face, eyes conveying absolute horror at what he found. Scott understood now. It was the ventilator.

John was awake and trying to breathe on his own but there was a friggin' tube down his throat trying to do it for him. Oh god. Where were the doctors!?

Scott frantically pressed the call button again, afraid it hadn't worked the first time all while trying to comfort his distressed brother.

"John - just calm down, it's just something to help you breathe, the doctors will be here any second now" Scott hoped at least. He could see his dad stirring from his sleep with the commotion and surprised eyes met his panicked ones. His dad was soon on his feet too, leaning down over John from the other side of the bed.

"What's going on?!" he demanded, immediately regretting his tone when Scott flinched.

Scott didn't have time to answer as a doctor finally burst into the room, two nurses flanking her.

The small hospital team gently pushed past them to gather round John's bed. Scott noted that it wasn't Dr. Alpine helping his brother but a brunette woman he hadn't seen before. He could do nothing but watch as he backed away from the bed to let the doctor do her job. It scared him. It scared him that he couldn't do anything. He was helpless as he watched his brother continue to flail.

It flashed him back to the accident.

...

_He watched as John finally focused on him, eyes widening in realisation. He was still gasping for breath "Scott...can't-can't breath"_

_The terror in his brother voice caused Scott's heart to tighten, his own fear rising._

_"Plea-Please...help" John gasped._

_And Scott did nothing. John's eyes bore into him, pleading for his big brother to do something. To do anything. And Scott couldn't. He couldn't help, he didn't know what to do._

_..._

He was pulled out of the memory by a reassuring presence beside him. His dad had enveloped him into a hug and he hadn't even realised his eyes had been watering until the first tear slid down his cheek. Scott rested his head on his fathers chest as they both looked on to observe the doctor.

The nurse had just shot a syringe of something into John's IV and Scott really hoped it was a sedative so John wouldn't be in pain anymore.

The doctor had a gentle tone as she stared down at his brother "John, I'm Dr. Stephen, We're going to take the breathing tube out now okay?"

Hearing this John frantically shook his head, whimpering in fear.

"It's okay John, we're just going to quickly slide it out and it'll be over and done with in seconds."

John still protested weakly by shaking his head and Scott couldn't help but step in at his brothers distress. He walked up to the opposite side of the bed from the doctor and gently manoeuvred round a nurse, taking John's hand in his.

"Don't worry John, they have to do this, but it'll be much better when it out okay?"

John held his gaze for a moment before slowly nodding and turning to look at the doctor.

She smiled "Okay great"

One of the nurses stretched over to unscrew the part that connected the tube to the oxygen machine and as soon as she did, John started gagging. Dr. Stephen didn't hesitate for a second as she carefully but swiftly slide the tube out of John's throat. John's eyes were screwed shut as he tightened his grip on Scott's hand, all the while making choking noises.

It was all over in seconds but it felt like much longer to Scott who just held on tightly watching John go through all this and knowing it was his fault. The guilt was eating him alive. He'd done this. John was suffering because of him.

One of the nurses placed an oxygen mask over John's mouth - the same type Scott had been wearing when he woke up. John's breathing was still laboured as he tried to heave in lung full's of air.

The doctor smiled at him "That's it John - In and Out. You feeling alright?"

John looked up at her and nodded

Scott tore his eyes away from his brother and looked up at the doctor "Thank-you"

She smiled. "Just doing my job kiddo" Scott bristled a bit at the word 'kiddo' but was grateful none the less.

Jeff stepped in at this point "Is he going to be okay?"

The doctor turned to him "We'll need to watch him but its looking good. As scary as I'm sure that must have been for you - its a good thing he's breathing on his own."

Jeff exhaled deeply scrubbed a hand over his eyes. "Thank-god"

The Doctor smiled at him and held out her hand "I'm Dr. Stephen - I've got rounds to do but I'll be here all night if you need anything"

Jeff took her hand "Thank-you"

With that she - and the nurses who had now packed up their equipment - left the room.

Scott sat down next to his brother, still holding on to his hand "How're you feeling Johnny?"

John managed a faint smile and rasped out behind the oxygen mask "I've been better"

Scott winced at the scratchy sound of Johns voice but was too relieved to hear it at all to worry about it too much.

Scott's voice was thick with emotion as he replied with a small chuckle "I'll bet". He took a deep breath "God - you scared me so bad John."

John put on a slight grimace "Sorry"

Scott quickly said "No - its not your fault, it was mine - I should be the one saying sorry"

John scrunched his eyebrows together and shuffled a bit as if trying to get up.

Scott placed a hand on his chest "Wow - slow your role there Johnny."

"Please Scott - help me sit up" John pleaded.

Scott really didn't want to say no - especially when John had turned on his puppy dog eyes. He placed a hand under his brother back and together they got him propped up against the wall. John was basically heaving from the exertion but seemed happier with his new position. His eyes briefly flickered to their dad who had retreated back to stand in the corner while his boys talked.

John gently reached up and removed the oxygen mask from his face - Scott glared at him but he seemed to be breathing fine so he didn't say anything. "It wasn't your fault Scott - you know that right?"

Scott exhaled deeply "Of course it was my fault John, I was driving and I crashed - end of story. Let's not talk about this now though - you've only just woken up"

John just shook his head "No Scott listen to me" John voice took on a tone that Scott knew meant he wasn't going to accept no for an answer. "You didn't do anything wrong - it was that moron in the other car"

Scott froze and whispered "Other car?"

He hadn't once thought back to how the accident happened, I mean sure he'd known there had been another car but he hadn't actually registered the fact that someone had to have been driving it. God - were they okay? Were they here? Now he had another thing to add to his long list of guilt. What if it had been a family? What if they didn't make it? What had even happened? He flashed back to the accident, which was not a pleasant memory.

...

_Then Gordon started crying as well and Scott's patience snapped, noting the straight empty road ahead, he turned fully around in his seat glaring daggers at his younger brothers._

_"ENOUGH! Stop acting like-"_

_"SCOTT!"_

_At John's cry of panic Scott whipped around just in time to a car smash into the side of theirs._

_There was a few seconds of complete disorientation and pain where Scott was sure the car was flipping over. The breathe was knocked out of him for a moment and all he could see was white. The car finally stopped, luckily the right way up and Scott realised his airbag was pressing into him. He could hear screaming and cries of distress coming from somewhere but his mind was foggy and his ears were ringing. Not long after the white air bag obstructing his view gradually turned to black as he lost his battle with consciousness._

_..._

"Yeah - you remember what happened right?" John continued.

Scott kind of numbly shook his head. He didn't really know what had happened at all.

"We were driving along a straight road and that idiot in the other car came speeding out of a give way from the right. We had the right of way Scott - it was _his_ fault."

John could see Scott had been holding a lot of guilt as he watched his brother try to process this information. It hurt to see Scott like that - he looked so vulnerable right now and he couldn't even imagine what he had been going through. A thought suddenly occurred to John and he cursed himself for not asking sooner "Where's everyone else!? Are they all right?!" He'd been so consumed in his own ordeal, he hadn't even thought about what might have happened to his other brothers.

Scott cleared his throat, picking up on John's distress "Alan and Gordon are fine they've gone home with Grandma" John sighed in relief - he didn't know what he would do if they had lost one of them. He knew he wasn't hearing the full story though as Scott refused to meet his eye and he could see them watering slightly.

John managed to choke out in a whisper "Where's Virgil?"

Scott met him dead in the eyes and gave a slight motion of his head to the other side of the room. John spun his head round so fast he felt dizzy for a minute. He hadn't even seen there was someone on the bed next to him. It was so dark in the room and he could only just make out a small form lying in the bed. Now that he was looking though - there was no doubt it was Virgil. He had a bandage round his head and John gagged slightly as he could see blood stained on it.

His voice wobbled slightly "What's wrong with him?"

Scott chocked back a sob as he replied "He-he hit his head really bad and he's in a coma - th-they don't know if he's going to wake up"

"W-what? No. No he has to. He has to wake up." John sobbed.

He could feel tears running down his cheeks as he stared over at Virgil, willing him to wake up. He felt arms embrace him as he turned to find Scott, half sitting on the edge of the bed tears running down his own face. He turned fully and put his own arms around Scott, they sat like that for a long time - just needing a moment to themselves. Scott whispered in his ear, his voice thick with emotion "I'm so glad you're okay John, I don't know what I would have done without you."

And John tightened his grip.


	9. Chapter 9

Scott watched as John slept. It was about 8am the next morning and the whole family had managed to get in a few hours of sleep before the sun rose. Dr. Stephen had warned that John needed his rest after such a traumatic night, she told them John would need a lot more sleep than usual for his body to heal. Despite this Scott was really getting jittery, all he really wanted was to have a long conversation with him. So much had happened over the last couple of days and Scott felt like a talk between the two eldest was much needed.

Over the last few months Scott and John had definitely gotten closer. As the two oldest brothers they couldn't afford to have any childish squabbles anymore. They had to grow up, they had to set a good example for their younger brothers.

If Scott was being honest, John had been his life-line. The only brother who would do something first-time asked - or even without Scott having to ask. The only brother he didn't have to keep a smile on his face for. The only brother he could let down his defences with.

Scott knows he wouldn't have been able to cope without John around. Every night when the younger kids had gone to bed Scott and John would stay up for a bit. This would be their time. A time for them to talk. They talked about everything on their chests. They listened to each other and they planned how to fix any problems they were having. That's what Scott needed right now - one of their night-time talks.

Before now he hadn't realised just how much he needed them.

He really wanted to talk about their father and his new found attitude towards his family. John had only gotten a small glimpse of the change last. After the all the drama their dad had cautiously approached from his position against the wall. When Johns eyes set on him they were full of surprise - as if he hadn't expected the man to be there - and Scott had definitely seen Jeff grimace at the look.

Jeff had sat down on the other side of the bed from Scott and slowly raised a hand to brush it through Johns hair while asking softly "Hey Johnny, how're you feeling?"

Scott could see John still hadn't fully processed the fact that their dad was here and not just here but acting very different from the Jeff they'd come to expect over the past months.

It took him a moment before he answered "Erm...yeah I'm okay"

He still looked uncertain and sensing the awkwardness, Jeff pulled his hand away. Scott sighed at their fathers resigned look, he wanted to tell him that John didn't mean anything by his actions. It was just a surprise that he needed time to process.

In fact Scott knew John would probably be the fasted to forgive their father. He had always defended their dad and Scott had rarely heard him complaining about his absence. John certainly was not one to hold a grudge.

In fact, Scott was pretty sure John would be grateful for their fathers return as Scott knew John had been worried about him. Worried that he had been stretching himself too thin. He was probably right to worry. The only times John had shown true anger at their father was when his absence had badly affected Scott. It was not uncommon for John to find Scott passed out on a couch somewhere in the house and Scott had more often than not woken up to a blanket draped over him.

One of the biggest outbursts took place when John had found out about Scott's grades slipping, he'd been furious. Not at Scott but at Jeff. Once the initial anger died down John was the one that had started helping Scott keep up with his school work. Despite being two grades below Scott, John was exceptionally smart. Before the accident, Scott had been extremely jealous of Johns superior school grades. He had always been bitter at how easily school work came to John. However, like he said they couldn't afford to be childish anymore. Scott didn't know why he'd ever resented John for it, it seemed silly now, now he only felt pride in John's school grades.

John started reading ahead in all his textbooks, he would borrow Scott's and do his best to understand the Junior level school work. He would either sit down with Scott and do his best to help him study or he would entertain the kids while he did his homework. Even if John didn't quite understand the work he would always sit with the textbook and ask questions or use flashcards to test him. Scott knew John was the only reason he'd managed to keep up in school.

All in all, Scott's pretty confident John will be happy to accept their dad again. Well...maybe after a long conversation, John has quite the knack for giving out lectures and he's pretty sure ones been brewing with his dads name on it for a while now. Scott has definitely been on the receiving end of some over the past months. He's pretty sure John just needs to vent to their dad a bit before he forgives him.

Right now though, Scott just wants to be sitting at their kitchen table, having a one-to-one conversation with John himself. A long one. So he sits and waits. Waits for John to open his eyes and wake up.

...

John was drifting in and out of consciousness, not quite ready to wake up yet. However, when he heard the squeaky hospital room door opening, he squinted his eyes open, expecting to see a family member. And especially hoping it was Scott.

When he saw a large, unfamiliar man striding into the room, his chest tightened slightly. The man didn't look like a doctor and John could not think why else a stranger would be entering his room.

Still weak, he tried to push himself up a bit on the bed so as not to feel so defenceless but it wasn't very successful as his arms shook with the effort. John was especially alarmed to see none of his other family members were present in the room.

The man set his eyes on him and John asked with a shaky breath "Who are you?"

The man put on a sleazy smile that made John shiver slightly "Robert Campbell, I'm a friend of your dads Johnny boy"

John really didn't like the way this man said his name and he felt extremely uneasy when he stepped into the room, making a show of closing the door firmly behind him.

"He's never mentioned you before" John replied casually.

"Really? Never a mention of his good friend Rob from the company? I mean I'm basically his right hand man."

John really didn't like the way this man was speaking, it was very condescending and he couldn't imagine his father would ever have a friend like this. Even if he did work as Tracy Industries - why would he be here?

John's voice had a slight shake to it as he replied "My d-dad isn't here, maybe you should go and look for him in the hospital."

John didn't end his statement in a question, he made it very clear he wasn't comfortable with this man being here and wanted him out. John was sure the man picked up on this but he made no move leave. John was really hoping Scott would come through the doors right about now.

The man smirked "Your father told me to come and watch you, how are you feeling John?"

Johns heart rate picked up as the man moved closer, he was really starting to freak out and his already abused lungs seemed to be struggling under his heavy breathing. "I-I'm fine"

The man was practically standing over him now and John felt very claustrophobic - unable to move from the bed with the mans huge form blocking his view of the door. Alarm bells were ringing in his head, telling him this was not a good situation.

The man smiled unconvincingly down at him "Can you tell me how the accident happened John?"

John knew there was definitely something wrong here. Despite being a bit distant lately his father would never send someone John didn't know to watch them. This man would also have known what had happened if he'd talked to their dad.

John steeled himself and tried to put as much confidence into his voice as he could. "I think you should leave now."

Again, he didn't ask it as a question but the man did not back down. Knowing his cover was pretty much blown the mans tone suddenly became very hostile "Did your dad crash the car John? Is that why you're here?"

John pressed himself back into the bed as the man moved uncomfortably close. He didn't like the way this man was accusing their family of things and despite his fear he defiantly shook his head "What? No! He wasn't even in the car."

The man smirked and John became uncertain of his answer. It wasn't until the man pulled some paper, a pen and began writing that it finally clicked. This man was a reporter!

Over the years all the boys had gotten talks about how to deal with a reporter. With a dad who was once an astronaut and now a successful businessman, Jeff had made sure they all knew what to do when approached by a reporter. Most of the warning had been to just walk away and don't say anything at all, but John couldn't exactly do that in his current situation. All the boys had had some sort of run in with a reporter at least once in their lives but John had never witnessed one being this forceful. It was downright terrifying.

John was shaking with anxiety now but he did not back down. "I know you're a reporter, get out of my room!"

John really started to panic when the man just sniggered deeply. He made a quick move to lean over and press the call button, hoping someone would come and get this man out of here but was startled when the reported grabbed his wrist - halting the movement. The mans beefy hand wrapped all the way around Johns slender wrist and John found he couldn't pull away. He hadn't been expecting the man to actually touch him, he'd thought the coldness was just an act to intimidate him. John started to struggle weakly in the mans grip.

The reporter just continued with his questioning as if he wasn't currently assaulting a minor "What about that one John?" He gestured with his other hand towards Virgil before resting said hand on Johns chest, completely immobilising him. "Is he not going to make it?"

John felt tears well up in his eyes as the man hit a rough cord with that one. Realising this situation was bordering on dangerous he really started to loose it.

"GET OFF ME!" He screamed with a voice thick with emotion as the tears continued to fall.

That was the moment Scott burst into the room and John could not have been more relieved.

...

It's about 9:30 as Scott makes his way back to John and Virgil, his dad had dragged him away to the hospital cafeteria to get some breakfast about 10 minutes ago and although Scott's stomach had been growling loudly, he really hadn't wanted to leave his brothers' side. It didn't feel right leaving their side when they were both so vulnerable.

Eventually, he agreed to go with his father but only to pick out some food and return with it to the room. There was no way he was going to sit in the cafeteria when he knew his brother could potentially wake up alone. Well Virgil was there but Scott knew he wasn't the best company at the moment.

He grimaced at the thought of the middle Tracy brother as he sped up his walk, suddenly desperate to get back to his brothers.

Scott was just approaching his brothers' room when he heard it.

_"GET OFF ME!"_

There was no mistaking it for John's voice and hearing the terror filled yell, Scott dropped everything he was holding on the floor before sprinting the last few metres to the room. He was sure he almost took the door off its hinges with the force he used to burst it open but he didn't even give that a second thought as he entered the room.

Scott saw John being forcibly manhandled on the hospital bed with tears streaming down his face. He instantly recognised the sleazy reporter he had encountered yesterday and all he saw was red.

He growled "Let go of my brother. NOW!"

The reporter immediately released John holding up his hands with mock innocence. Scott saw John pull his abused wrist into his chest and rub it slightly. Knowing this man had hurt his brother made Scott lose any fear he had previously had for the man.

The reporter reverted back to his fake friendly voice "Hey, no need to get angry, we were only talking - weren't we Johnny."

The man smirked at John and the boy flinched before turning to Scott. "He's a reporter Scott!"

The reporter glared at John and started approaching the bed again. Seeing his brother pale slightly, that was the last straw for Scott.

"GET AWAY FROM HIM!"

Scott ran at the man, throwing a punch as soon as he was close enough. It was messy but there was a satisfying _thud_ as his fist connected with the mans face. The reporter instantly turned to the side clutching the sore side of his face and swearing violently. Scott took the time to shake out his hand, that had hurt more than he had expected it to.

The reporter had a look of fury on his face as he turned back to face Scott. "You're gonna to pay for that, kid"

Before Scott could even comprehend what was happening, the much lager man had forcefully shoved him against the wall. Scott felt his bones shudder with the impact and his breath was knocked out of him. Through the haze of pain, he vaguely heard John shout his name sounding panicked.

The man slammed a fist into his face and Scott's head reeled with the force of it. Scott may have gotten a lucky hit in earlier but this man was far stronger and bigger than he was and Scott could do nothing but struggle weakly at the hands currently pinning him to the wall.

Scott was just beginning to think he'd gotten a bit in over his head when suddenly hands were around his throat and he chocked as his air supply was harshly cut of by the crushing force of the mans fingers. Scott couldn't even comprehend what was happening. He knew reporters weren't usually the best of people but assaulting children was pretty brutal. What was wrong with this guy!?

Scott suddenly realised he might be in serious danger as his vision started to blacken. He needed to breathe! This was torture. His lungs were screaming. Was this man really going to kill him!?

Then all of a sudden the pressure was gone.

His limbs were useless as he slumped to the floor, making one of the strangest noises he had ever made as he struggled to draw in the breath he so strongly craved.

He looked up just in time to see the reporter basically body slam a person - who Scott quickly identified as John much to his alarm - into the wall beside him. He then made a break for it as he ran out of the room, leaving the door wide open.

Despite the pain in his lungs Scott quickly turned to assess his brother. John was leaning against the wall next to him, stark white and breathing deeply while cradling an arm around his ribs.

"You okay, Johnny?" he rasped out.

John nodded "Yeah, I'm good - you? I thought you were going to black out there"

Scott grunted "So did I - but I'm good, what happened?"

John managed a smile that looked like a mix between a smirk and a grimace "I tried to push him off you - admittedly it didn't really work, wasn't exactly steady on my feet but I got his attention anyway"

Scott glared at him "What were you thinking!? You're hurt John!"

John just shook his head angrily "He was killing you Scott! I saw his face he wasn't going to stop!"

The brothers looked at each other for a moment, both assessing each others condition and both looking a bit worse for wear, then Scott's eyes softened "Thanks, Johnny" he leaned back against the wall, placing an arm round John and pulling his younger brother towards him.

John sighed "No problem - trust me when I say I know what it feels like not being able to breath"

Scott's heart clenched at the statement as he pulled his brother closer, both boys taking strength from the other.

"Oh, my"

Scott glanced up startled at the voice from the door. It was Dr. Stephen, she was gaping in the doorway at the sight of the two brothers.

"What on earth happened?" She gasped quickly making her way over to the boys who were still huddled together on the floor.

Scott explained the story as she checked them over and got John settled back into his bed. She was confident he hadn't sustained any further damage besides maybe a bruise or two where he'd hit the wall. Although John had assured him himself, Scott visibly relaxed under the assessment by the doctor. It assured him much more coming from a medical professional.

As for his own condition, his face was already starting to show the beginning of what was sure to be a colourful bruise. As for his neck, Dr. Stephen told him that he was extremely lucky his windpipe hadn't been damaged with force of pressure that had been applied. His neck would also be sporting a colourful array of bruises.

"You were both extremely lucky today" Dr. Stephen warned as she finished her assessment. "I've notified hospital security about the reporter but the police are going to want a statement from both of you, this man needs to be put behind bars for what he's done to you boys"

Scott nodded in agreement as Dr. Stephen got up and left the room but he still had questions to ask. "What did he say to you John? Before I got here"

John looked down at his hands, not meeting Scott's eyes at the question.

"I couldn't stop him from coming in Scott, I-I told him to leave and he wouldn't"

Scott's fist clenched at his brothers defeated tone and at the fact this man had taken advantage of his injured little brother. He reassured his brother softly "I know you couldn't John, I didn't expect you to have. I just want to know what he asked you?"

John scrunched his fists into the blanket "He kept asking about dad and the crash, I told him dad hadn't even been there then he started writing it down but I swear I didn't know he was a reporter until after I'd said it Scott. I'm sorry!"

Scott had an arm around his brother in seconds "It's okay John, don't worry about it."

John just ignored Scott continuing with his fast paced telling of events "Once I knew he was a reporter I tried to press the call button but he grabbed my wrist and I couldn't get him off. Then he started asking about Virgil and if he wasn't going to make it and I just didn't know what to do."

John was sobbing now and Scott was almost joining him after listening to the terrifying encounter John had had with the man. Scott rubbed his brothers arm trying to calm him.

"I'm sorry John, I should never have left the room in the first place"

John sniffed "Not your fault Scott"

"Not yours either John, just rest for now okay? I promise I'm not going anywhere this time"

Before John even had time to respond the door opened again and their dad came running in clearly out of breath as he puffed out "Boys...I just heard...what happened... Are you both alright?

Both boys nodded and Scott was about to verbally reassure his father when the door opened again. Things seemed to be getting a bit hectic as two police officers entered the room. Scott was wondering why all this had to be done now, John was obviously tired and needed rest and to be honest Scott did too. The crowded room was doing nothing to help either of the boys.

Sparing Scott from having to speak to them, Jeff turned to the officers holding out a hand shaking each of their hands and introducing himself. "Have you found anything about the reporter officers?"

One of the men, clearly in charge, stepped forward, further into the room "Actually we're here to talk to..." he looked down at his notebook "Scott Tracy" looking back up at Jeff he continued "about a reckless driving accusation from the other party involved in this accident"

Jeff visibly paled and that was when Scott knew he wasn't going to be getting any rest anytime soon.


End file.
